Moments that Matter
by Soot
Summary: A missing scene from the book 'Strange Meeting' when Hilliard and Barton finally get some time alone. Barton/Hilliard slash.


Title: Moments that Matter

Summary: A missing scene from the book 'Strange Meeting' when Hilliard and Barton finally get some time alone. Barton/Hilliard slash.

Disclaimer: I do not own and never will.

Warning: Slash, don't like don't read.

A/N: Oh my god! I've only found after searching the Internet one fanfiction to do with this wonderful book! I'm shocked!! Horrified. I am totally in love with my English Lit A-Level at the moment; if it wasn't for that course I would have never have found this great book.

***

Neither man knew how they had managed to find themselves alone, separate from everyone else, but neither minded and were just grateful to what ever had conspired to give them this time alone. Both knew it would not last long, time alone never did, but again neither minded because as far as both men were concerned they were in good company.

The evening air had a calming effect on both of them despite the fact they could hear the guns in the distance. Neither cared to think how close they were to the front.

Barton chuckled to himself and Hilliard couldn't help but smile. He loved it when he was the reason that Barton laughed. He loved it if he was the reason that Barton was happy and felt a tsunami of envy if someone else was the reason. Hilliard knew he was in love with Barton as it explained all the emotions that he felt; immense loneliness when Barton wasn't near him but felt like he could dance and sing with joy when he was. Hilliard was suddenly struck with the want to touch Barton, just to place a single hand on his arm or shoulder; anything.

Barton moved close to him and Hilliard sensed a subtle change between them. They stood looking at one another, their gazes intense. Hilliard began to find it hard to breath with Barton stood that close to him. Barton wouldn't normally make him react that way, but suspecting Barton's intentions towards him made his heart hammer like never before. Nobody had ever made him feel like this before, but not only had Barton befriended him and brought him out of his defensive shell, but he had also made him fall in love with him.

Barton smiled a radiant smile at him and moved closer till their bodies were nearly touching. Hilliard started to feel self conscious; that something was wrong with the way he looked that Barton would find unattractive and make him not want to kiss him.

Barton sensed this but made no attempt at voicing any reassurance. Instead he moved to kiss him but stopped, his lips a fraction of a distance from Hilliard's.

Hesitating, they both knew that they were about to cross a bridge that they would not be able to retrace their steps back across again. For both individual men it became a battle between what society deemed wrong and the war. Society deemed their feelings and emotions wrong while they both knew that they could be killed tomorrow; or sooner. They were trying to achieve a balance that did not exist.

Hilliard was the first to realise that it was a futile battle. The only options open to them was to throw everything, including the war, to one side and to show the other affection, or to simply walk away and pretend that it never happened. The options open to them were simple; it all hung on which they decided to take.

Hilliard dismissed all the ideas that were playing havoc with his thoughts and took the option that seemed right at that moment.

He closed the distance between him and Barton and pressed his lips gently against the other man's.

Barton remained frozen for a short time before relaxing into the kiss. Hilliard was relieved when he felt Barton start to relax and moved himself so he had his arms around Barton's neck, crushing their bodies together. Hilliard felt one of Barton's arms wrap around his hips and another encircle his shoulders, keeping him close for what Hilliard hoped would be eternity.

Barton deepened the kiss. For the first time in what seemed like years stacked upon years, Hilliard felt safe and truly loved. At home he was surrounded by, what seemed to him, strangers. He no longer knew his family; but he felt like he had known Barton's for his whole life. He felt that he had known Barton himself his whole life.

Hilliard kissed back, matching Barton's force equally. The kiss went from gentle and affectionate to passionate and a fight for dominance, both Barton and Hilliard trying to express how they truly felt in those intense moments, for ever fearful of the other dying without knowing.

Barton finally broke the kiss, desperate for air. Hilliard, still in his arms, was breathing heavily, his eyes closed and his face flush with colour. Barton couldn't take his eyes of Hilliard in those few moments; the man he had fallen in love with no longer resembled what he considered a man would look like if he was dead on the inside.

Both men remained still with their arms around the other for some time, each not caring about anything.

It was almost like the war wasn't happening; that it had stopped or never started to begin with. All of the bad experiences of mud, death and mutilations that Hilliard had seen and been apart off felt like a particularly bad nightmare and that now he had awoken from it to find that none of it had happened – all of those men hadn't been killed in a senseless war...

… but when an explosion happened close by, both men were thrown cruelly back to the harsh reality of it all. The dream was that there hadn't be a war.

Hilliard removed himself from Barton's arms, knowing that he couldn't get too comfortable in them. He also had something that he needed to say; and with the explosion as close as it had been to where they were, it seemed the appropriate time to voice his concern.

"If I die ..."

"Don't say that". Barton cut him off. "We are both going to survive this!"

"And then what?! No one can know!" Hilliard said threw clenched teeth, trying to keep his voice down so he didn't let anyone who just happened to be nearby know of their location. "Besides, what are the chances of any of us surviving this war? Especially considering how its fought".

"We'll make it". Barton said as he placed a hand on Hilliard's shoulder in a gesture of reassurance.

"Damn you - only you could do this to me". Hilliard tried to joke but his words did not resemble what he intended them to be.

"Do what to you?" Barton inquired, his soft, loving expression making Hilliard melt like butter. Yes, only Barton could do that to him.

Before Hilliard could answer both men froze as they heard footsteps heading in their direction. They both knew that their privacy would not last long; but both considered the time they had together privately was not long enough. They wanted more but knew when the footsteps stopped outside the door instead of walking straight on past that their time was up. Quickly, both men pulled their uniforms straight again before turning to face the door and who ever was about to walk in.

Barton flashed Hilliard a quick smile before turning his attention to the man appearing threw the now open door to show him how much the time alone with him had meant to him. All Hilliard could think of at that moment in time was how much he loved Barton. His mind screamed the declaration, but he couldn't voice it now with witnesses around. So; instead of voice it; he kept his mouth shut and decided he would tell Barton later.

He would never forget how the war had come second to Barton in those minutes.

He would never forget.

End.


End file.
